Brindle is going on 11 years old. I found out today, she has cancer - metastasized, inoperable, untreatable. I had noticed some things a couple of months ago, but not enough to give the vet (who I, in love, laced with humor, call Sister Mary Kevorkian) ..not enough to give her anything to go on. But yesterday, there were enough symptoms to give some her some clue as to where to start.
It's a shock - as cancer always is. But I think how amazing and kind of God that I would have ever had her at all. My heart is broken. She is probably one of the ugliest dogs I have ever seen, but I also don't know of any sweeter.
Two months ago she was on a Therapy Dog visit to an Alzheimer's unit at Laurette Mental Hospital. An agitated man just PUNCHED her in the face. She just looked up at him, right in the eyes and wagged her tail. It really disarmed him and he turned away. Sweet to the bone.
Just basic training and she would obey - often things told to her in sentence form, like, "Why don't you go over there and lay down?", or, "This way!" and she would. I think you would have to live with her to see it. Anyway, I am probably not objective - like a mom who thinks her child is wonderful, but just about every one else can see all the faults.
It made me wonder how I would feel and what I would want if I sat across from the doctor and he told me I was terminal. It's hard to get past the shock on to any issues or decisions.
She is still a happy dog, eating and wagging her tail and sniffing around, but I know she won't be that way much longer and we will NOT let her suffer - I have even seen changes in the last 24 hours. At this point, she has some discomfort but nothing radical. We will put her to sleep before any suffering. Until then I will enjoy every moment.
I don't want to be too melodramatic - I know she is just an old mutt dog, but I gotta tell you, it's pretty hard, and I will mourn.
(Post Script: Brindle lived 10 more days. It's 2013 and I still miss her…but my dominant thought is, once again, how blessed I was to have her at all.)
